thoughts nobody asked for

 words usually pour out when i'm upset and inspired,

but here i am,

upset but words elude me.

why am i rendered speechless?

this is me

and this is all i'll ever be.

that to me is a comfort and a curse.

'all i'll ever be'.

i've learned that

people who take you for granted

won't regret your absence.

stop putting time, effort and energy

into something and someone 

who doesn't appreciate you.

i've also learned that

i'm a weirdo

who prefers to talk over text 

than have a normal conversation

like a sorted human being.

i'm hurt

i'm in pain

and yet here i am

articulating that hurt.

one of these days

i'm going to get started on my book.

had a brilliant dream last night

a horror story of sorts

about two devil sisters...

i forget the details

but it was such a vivid dream

with colors and brightness and mood.

and right after i had that dream,

i told myself i will write it into a story

but here i am

half forgetting the details

that made it so wonderful in the first place.

it is raining

i am confused

and

in pain

i dont know what for

but the ache is deep.