first week of may

 do i worry about leaving behind a legacy?

but who am i, if i am nothing?

nobody's mother, no one's wife?

will living for me be enough in the long run?

will i be lonely?

will i feel like dying again?

if i don't stress about life,

and just live in the moment,

do i do more

or do i do less?

if i stress about life,

will it add to my years

or just add worry?

why are the questions endless

and the answers unknown?

never enough

never grateful

never level-headed

it is good to be self-aware

but it is also important

to work on the shortcomings.

if not,

does it really matter that you're aware?

just....life feels hard at the moment.

there is no difficulty per se

but everything feels heavy

and grey coded.

oh and the first week of may?

attended a beautiful wedding

of two very in love people.

judged some met gala looks on met monday.

had a falling out with a dear friend/ don't have the courage to talk to him again.

promised myself i'll do more stuff

and get more money to do said stuff.

life is ok.

katiracha.